Grieving the Griever

 

💔 Grieving the Griever: A Reflection 
on Tawni and Today's Quote

Healing After Loss – July 23
—In memory of Tawni. In honor of healing.

Today's quote by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross hits home. Not for me this time—but for my sweet niece, Tawni. She never stopped mourning the loss of her mother. The pain ran so deep that eventually, her heart gave out—literally. The official cause was a heart attack brought on by drinking, but I know the deeper truth: she died of a broken heart.

Some Wounds Go Too Deep

I tried everything I could to help her. I held her hand. I listened. I reminded her of the beauty that still existed in the world. But the pain never loosened its grip. Some of our family grew angry with her because she "never moved on." I never felt anger—just sorrow. It broke my heart to see her hurt like that. It still does. She left her two young children at a younger age than she herself had been. It breaks my heart knowing that they do not have their mother for the young years when young adults are trying to leave their parents and start living on their own.

Grief Wears Many Faces

Grief is not one-size-fits-all. We all process differently. Some people bury it deep. Others wear it like skin. I suppose I fell into the latter. I am transparent. I grieve aloud. I cry when I need to, and I do not apologize for it. Grief is my way of honoring the love that never left.

“It Usually Ends When People Realize They Can Live Again…”

Today's passage reminds us:

“Mourning can go on for years and years… It usually ends when people realize that they can live again…”

I ache because Tawni never got that moment. She never crossed the bridge back into the light.

But I hold on to the hope that others will. That I will. That maybe someone reading this today will realize they are not alone—and that it’s okay to still feel broken while beginning to heal.

We Are Invited to Live Again

No one is asking us to forget. That’s impossible.

But we are invited to live again.
Not in spite of our grief—but with it woven into our lives.

One day, the ache may not be the first thing we feel when we wake.
And just maybe, it won’t be the last thing we whisper before we sleep.

---

“There Are So Many Good Things…”

I’ll close with the words of a child that bring it all into focus:

“There are so many good things. There is just one bad thing.”

That “bad thing” will always be there.

But it doesn’t have to consume everything else.

💗 Even in my sadness, I will be open to new adventures.

🕊️ From my heart to yours,
Dyan

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Hickman, Martha W. Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Grief Recovery (p. 217). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.