Freedom to Feel: A Griever’s Fourth of July

 

🎆 Freedom to Grieve: A Reflection on the Fourth of July

🕯️ Opening Reflection

"The evenings were the hardest to bear. The ritual of the hot drink, the lumps of sugar for the two dogs, the saying of prayers... I continued the ritual, because this too lessened pain, and was, in its very poignancy, a consolation."
—Daphne Du Maurier, as quoted in Healing After Loss by Martha Whitmore Hickman

🕊️ Grieving Through the Celebrations

Holidays are often painted with the colors of celebration, fireworks, and joy. But for those of us who are grieving, they can feel more like quiet shadows than bursts of light.

This Fourth of July, while the world celebrates freedom, I find myself navigating a different kind of liberty—
the freedom to feel deeply, to mourn openly, and to carry both joy and sorrow in the same breath.

✨ Holding On to Rituals

I thought about rituals today. The waving of the flag. The family gathered around the grill, laughing. Fireworks paint the sky.

These traditions bring comfort to many.
But for me, the absence of Mark turns them bittersweet.

As I stood alone, watching a sparkler flicker in the dark, I remembered how we used to sit side by side, hands intertwined, waiting for the sky to burst with color.

This year, I still lit the sparkler.
I still whispered a prayer.
Because rituals like these, however painful, are holy.

 

💗 The Comfort of Repetition

Martha Hickman’s words reminded me that rituals are more than routine—
They’re containers for our grief.
They give shape to sorrow, letting us pour it into something that grounds us.

Even when Mark is not beside me, the rhythm of the holiday helps me feel close to him.
The motions become memories. The memories become anchors.

🕊️ Sacred Freedom in Sorrow

And maybe this is the most sacred freedom of all:

• The freedom to grieve with faith.

• To honor the past while choosing to live today.

• To feel His presence—even in sorrow.

So if today you find yourself holding both heartache and celebration, know this:

Light your sparkler.
Say the prayer.
Cry through the fireworks if you must.

These motions, these moments, are your holy ground.

🙏 A Scripture for the Soul

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
—Psalm 34:18

 

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Hickman, Martha W. Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Grief Recovery  HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.