The Gift of Quiet Tears:

 

The Gift of Quiet Tears: Why We Need Others to Help Us Grieve

Introduction

There’s a deep and holy truth in today’s reflection that reminds me how important it is to have someone by our side—not to fix us, but to be with us. The quote by

Robert Frost strikes home:
Too proud to be beholden for relief,
Are absolutely sure to come to grief.”

---

We Were Never Meant to Grieve Alone

We weren’t made to journey through loss alone. And yet, how many of us try? Whether from pride, fear of being a burden, or simply believing no one can understand, we isolate ourselves. But grief, by its very nature, demands companionship—not to replace the one we lost, but to offer a soft place to land while we endure the sorrow.

---

A Story That Says It All

There’s a story of a little girl who came home late. Her mother asked where she’d been.
“Helping Jane,” she said. “Her doll broke.”
The mother asked, “Did you help her fix it?”
The girl answered, “No, I helped her cry.”

That kind of simple wisdom always touches my soul. Children know things we adults have buried. Their hearts are open to presence, not solutions. Their compassion is instinctual. That child didn’t need to mend the doll—she just knew Jane needed a companion in her sadness.

---

Mark's Quiet Presence

I remember how Mark would hold me when I cried over my mom and stepdad. He wouldn’t say much. He didn’t try to distract me or tell me everything was going to be okay. He just held me—his lap becoming a sacred place where my pain could be poured out.
He helped me cry.

Now that he is gone, I still cry. Not always in front of others. Usually, it’s just me, his pillow, and his blanket. There is comfort even in those quiet moments, because I know he would still want to offer that same safety to my grief. The act of crying may not change what happened, but it does change how tightly I carry the sorrow. Tears loosen what’s bound inside. And sometimes, that is all we need.

---

A Message for the Weary

Dear friend, you don’t have to go it alone. Even Jesus, in His time of sorrow, wept and asked others to sit and pray with Him. If our Savior wasn’t afraid to ask for comfort, we should not be either. We need people—not perfect ones, just present ones.

For Those Who Love a Griever

And if you are someone who loves a griever, remember:
You don’t have to fix us.
You don’t have to explain the pain away.
You don’t need answers.

Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is simply… help us cry.

With Love,

Dyan

💜 Dyan's Grief Support Resources
🎥 [Watch my daily grief reflections on Flip]
📚 Explore my grief tools and comfort books
📖 Read my memoir Divine Light: A Memoir of Faith and Hope

Some links may be affiliate links. Thank you for supporting my healing journey.

Hickman, Martha W. Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Grief Recovery (p. 217). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.